yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
