porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
