there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
