Sry I called you an 8
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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