This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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