Plan B is the new Plan A
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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