Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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