please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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