It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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