it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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