Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
