Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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