if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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