I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
