Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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