everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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