Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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