Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
