Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i need some magic done to my vagina
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
