i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
