I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
