dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
