I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
