So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
