Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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