You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
