I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
so much tequila, so little girl.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
