i think my tv is drunk
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
