WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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