It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
