I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You pole danced in your parka.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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