Swine flu is the new snow day.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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