I hate all girls vehemently.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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