five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
