Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize