; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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