I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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