goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
