Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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