watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
how does that bad decision feel?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
