just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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