why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
