i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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