I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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