Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
