I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
