words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize