Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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