last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
