I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
