Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize