you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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