Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
