everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If I die, sorry about rent.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
