You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I AM VODKA MAN
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
