remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
