Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize