thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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