my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
