I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
