I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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