Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
