i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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